Art is how we decorate space, Music is how we decorate time

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Spring 2002


By HSRE Brain

BERKELEY, US – 6/24/02 It is often said that pitching and defense win
championships and last night’s Basehits 3-2 victory over nemesis Brary Boys
left little doubt as to the veracity of those sage words when one includes
clutch basehits into the formula. A full moon rose menacingly through the
maples in right at San Pablo #2 field last night, eerily foretelling the
peculiar battle that would unfold. The game began well for the Hits as they
set down a loaded BBoys lineup quickly in the top of the first behind number
2 starter Horace “What time is the game again?” Cardoza, taking the mound for
a second time this season against the BB’s while ace Bob “Tennessee” Nelson
was somewhere near Nashville on assignment. Coach Brian “I’ve got to do
something” Murray decided to shuffle the lineup, since the Hits’ offense had
struggled in its last outing and were unable to take batting practice because
the Emeryville batting cages had just recently become the latest victim of a
recovering Republican economy.

Dan “I’m playing for three now” Lashkoff led off for the Hits innocently
enough with a walk, but was quickly forced at second by Doug “DH” Moss who
advanced to second on rookie Joe “Do we get a trophy?” Wambacher’s ringing
single to left. The Hits went no further as BB pitcher Frank settled down to
get the next two outs and the capacity crowd settled in for a nail-biter.
The Hits shut down the BB’s in the second and got on the board in the bottom
of the inning as Loren “Speedy” Carjulia led off with a solid single, which
would become an oft repeated role for the night. Matt “Mister” Fishencord
followed with a basehit and Bobby “Have a cigar” Ortiz loaded the bases with
another basehit. That brought up Dave “Webmaster” Johnson, who promptly hit
a sacrifice fly to get the Hits in the run column. The Hits could not push
another run across but again held the BB’s scoreless in the top of the third.
Moss led off the bottom of the inning with a basehit, which was followed by
another hit by Rich “.778 regular season batting average” Stayman with one
out. Number five hitter Rob “Did I mention that I have a concussion?”
Sullivan, clearly not playing at 100%, grounded into an inning double play.

The Hits added to the scoreboard again in the bottom of the fourth, courtesy
of another leadoff hit by Carjulia, who speedily scored following hits by
Ortiz and Johnson. The Hits two run lead however was short lived as the BB’s
finally got on the board with two runs of their own in the top of the fifth,
setting up the dramatic seventh inning finale. The Brary’s led off the
inning with their 3-4-5 hitters and number 3 quickly flied out deep to
Stayman. Number 4 hit a sharp single past a stabbing lunge by Johnson at
first and moved to second on a shot off the glove of Mr. Fish at third. The
air was thick with anticipation as the number 6 hitter stepped to the box and
drilled a line drive over Cardoza towards center field which would surely
give the BB’s their first lead off the game.

All of a sudden, a flash of Ortizian blue and gray laid leather to the shot
and Bobby nonchalantly flipped the ball to an awaiting Lashkoff at second,
doubling off a stunned BB runner who was all ready to round third base.
Pumped by the play and the ensuing shouts of encouragement by their fearless
second baseman, the Hits were poised for glory. And as fate would have it,
the Hits had their hot hitting first baseman and tenth fastest runner leading
off the seventh and Johnson did not disappoint, lacing a solid basehit to
left. Kip “Did Lidle give up any more runs?” Conner followed with a clutch
hit to left advancing DJ to second, setting the stage for Cardoza who,
hitless in two previous at bats, went deep to left center. The BB fielder,
unable to shut his mouth all evening, broke in and then had to make a quick
retreat, uttering a fateful “Uh Oh” as the ball bounced off his glove and
touched the blessed turf. Third base coach Murray was not going to let this
one slip by and boldly sent Johnson off to home, who kind of half slid just
ahead of the throw from the cut-off man, ending the game and dramatically
avenging the loss to the Brary’s in last year’s spring classic.

With 2 RBI and the final run, DJ was named MVP and was asked what made the
difference this year. “The new bats, the new website at
http://drbeeper.manilasites.com/BaseHits and of course, an oil can of Fosters
before each game.”